Sunday, October 9, 2011

Almost leaving.

I dreamt I was running away from Australia. Me and this stranger, a girl, we were trying to ditch our degrees, our scholarship, this life. 

It's night time. We were packing some bare necessities into our back packs. We've got a car in the porch, the engine's running. The house we were in, it's a bit like my real home but a bit different.

For some odd reason, I could see my cousin, Joey sleeping in my neighbour's yard. It was night but it's like there's a spotlight on him. He laid on the ground beneath a small tree. I remember feeling envious of him being so carefree that he could just sleep peacefully in a stranger's yard. (I think he's in this dream because in real life, back in Msia he's borrowing my Atos to go to work)

The girl was egging me on to hurry up. We were trying to leave quickly because people were coming home to our place. By 'people' I mean some 3rd year seniors. They would surely stop us.

But I started panicking. I worried that my sponsor would sue my parents because I broke the scholarship contract. So I couldn't get into the car.

Then I woke up. Feeling more depressed than I've felt in ages. Even in my dreams I'm too afraid to just ditch all this. I can't even dream of leaving. Pathetic.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Alarms

I was walking down a wide cobbled street with several people. The place looked like the place in 2Cellos' MV of 'Welcome To The Jungle'. I looked up and on top of one of the roofs there was a man strapped to a chair. He  was shirtless but wore pajama bottoms. Another man was holding the back of the chair, they seemed to be arguing. I couldn't make out what they were yelling about but it wasn't long before the other man shoved the chair with the man still in it off of the roof. I was horrified.

Don't remember what happened in between but the next thing I know is that I had the dead chair guy's baby with me. Took the baby to my house for protection. It was night time. There's just me, Adi (my little brother), the baby & Kak Yanti (my maid). I was very nervous and ran around the house to secure the windows,  and lock the doors. I yelled at my maid to lock the back door. Things got intense very quickly. I peered through a window and there were men milling into the frontgate. Bad men. They were dark skinned and had dark unkempt hair and beards. They were coming after us. 

I hurried to my house's alarm control system to turn it on. I shook the window grills and front door several time to set the alarm off to scare the men away. It didn't work very well. The alarm's volume was too low. There was a volume dial next to the controls (which, in reality does not exist) and turned it up but it didn't have any effect. The alarm was still not as loud as it should be, the way I remember it. I peered out of the window again, the men were laughing at me. I could see them surrounding the house, making for the back door. I was petrified. A distinct feeling of fear for Adi licked my insides like flames.

Then my next door neighbour came home. They started coming ouf of their car so I screamed for help. My neighbour heard me, she looked at me for a while and merely smiled wickedly before entering her own house, ignoring me. I couldn't believe she would simply ignore me like that, I kept screaming and fumbling with the alarm controls. All the while rattling the grills and occasionally unlocking the door to open it and slamming it shut as quickly as possible (this scared me shitless, opening the door) to set the alarm off.

I figured the battery was low so I tried to pry the controls open to replace the battery and that's when one of the men smashed the window (the alarm controls is right next to the front door and the window is on the left of the door). He reached inside and started to grab me. I looked at Adi and the baby, they were scared too. Then my maid ran into the living room from the kitchen, the men already kicked down the back door. 

They went up to me and told me the alarm doesn't work anymore so don't bother. They took the baby and left. At that point I knew I ought to feel sorry for the baby but I was just relieved they didn't take Adi too.

Then I woke up.

[What caused the dream is my roomie's phone alarm. It went off and she didn't wake up to switch it off. So, no wonder the alarm volume in my dream wasn't as aloud as my real house alarm. Talk about your dreams being influenced by noises you unconsciously hear huh? Anyway, I hate this nightmare.]

Friday, June 3, 2011

Julian (again)^2

Last night, I had THE, BEST JULIAN DREAM EVER.

Albert drove me in a cadillac to a quaint little shop by the streets, lo and behold Julian was behind the counter. He was wearing a semi-long sleeved (what do you call those things with 3/4 sleeves, ish) tshirt and had his shades on. It was morning. I had my notepad with me, and in it was a drawing of a rose (which, I really did drew yesterday) and I thought I'd show him because he seemed interested in looking at my notepad. I went up to the counter and before I could talk to him a red-headed girl walked into the shop and started demanding Julian to sign her stuff and begged for pictures. Not long after that, more girls piled into the shop and I think a paparazzi came out of nowhere because suddenly there were flashes going off. Julian jumped over the counter and ran for his life.


I decided to go to my cousin, Muni's house. It was winter break already, I'm back in Malaysia. Fluffy was at Muni's home. Fluffy ran into my arms, mewing. I hugged him.

Muni's house like a mansion in the dream, kinda dark because the walls were grey. Very modern and huge. I was shocked to see that the house has changed so much since I've only been to Australia for 4 months now. All of my cousins were home. They were delighted that I'm back in Malaysia. Kak dirah (muni's eldest sister) asked me to go shopping with her, and then Kak nawai (muni's 2nd elder sister) asked me to accompany her to a wedding. I said no to both of them, said I had something to do when really I was just lazy. So I went upstairs to find Muni. The upper floor was super huge too. It was like a small hotel I think. A couple of ladies were frying something, burgers I think. They were cooking in the middle of the floor. It looked like they were preparing food for a big function. Then Muni came to greet me, she said it was a school project, the cooking thing. I tasted one, it was weird. I think it was fake vegetarian meat.

Then I decided that I should just follow Kak dirah go out shopping. Abg Khair (Muni's eldest brother) and my uncle (Muni's dad) followed too. At the mall, Kak dirah found a branded super expensive wrist watch. It was analog and had white straps. In the face of the clock was the brand's logo and '$95'. The wrist watch probably worthed thousands and it was on sale for only $95. I congratulate kak dirah for finding something so valuable at an insanely marked down price. Then I heard my uncle calling Abg Khair a 'neolistic fascist'. (I don't think there's such a word as 'neolistic'.) I butted in and told them about the conversation from teh movie Igby Goes Down. I said "There were two brothers, they were at a party. Then came a girl, he asked the elder brother, 'What do you study?', the younger brother replied 'Neo fascism'. Then the older said 'Economics' and the younger said 'Semantics.' Get it?' but they didn't find it funny.

The next thing I know I was back at Muni's home and JULIAN came. He said he just wanted to visit. So we sat at the porch. It was morning. Suddenly Nami (Muni's 2nd elder brother)'s friend walked across the lawn (the porch was near the lawn) and asked for Nami. I was about to call for Nami but he came along running, shirtless, across the lawn to meet his friend. Julian was fascinated with the boys, they were dark-skinned mind you, and Julian thought they were aborigines or something. I said, 'Nami! Look! look! look who's here! It's Julian from The Strokes.' Nami smirked and said 'I can't believe you had *** with him.' I got super mad and stood up but he left quickly with his friend. Julian didn't looked disturbed so I let it slide.


Later that night, I went to a cafe/club with Muni. The place had yellow lights like in a fancy restaurant and there was a dance floor. The red-head girl was there, dancing. I sat at a small circular table with Muni but she left immediately, said something about having to attend a party. So I just sat there sketching in my notepad. Then JULIAN came. He simply sat down at my table. He didn't have his shades on this time. We started to greet each other but then the red-head girl interfered AGAIN and Julian RAN OUT again. The girl didn't follow him though, so I went out to peek and there he was. Julian wore a grey bubble winter coat, his breath was visible in the cold night air. I was relieved and went back in. After a while, Julian came back in too and sat with me again. I was making markings on a pregnant lady's skirt, like I was some kinda fashion designer. Julian just sat and observed us. I told the pregnant lady I'm going to have to cut the seam of the skirt all the way up to make the necessary adjustments and told her I'm going to make it smaller so that she can wear after she's had her baby. The lady said she wants to keep the size because it's fashionable for her to wear it while still pregnant.

It was getting late so I decided to go home. Julian WALKED ME HOME. I was feeling kind of down because Muni left me earlier. Talked a lot with Julian as we walked together under the street lights. I noticed he had his usual leather jacket on. Muni was driving a car, she stopped and rolled down her window said she was sorry but she had yet another party to attend I said ok and she drove off. I told Julian how everybody's too busy nowadays. How they're all like 'trains moving too fast' (a variation of the lyric 'I was a train moving too fast' from the Strokes's Automatic Stop). Then Julian and I made funny robot-like dance moves trying to show each other what it's probably like to be a fast moving train. We were being all dorky and laughing and stuff. I mostly talked about how I was feeling kinda sad and Julian said he understands.

Then there was sometthing related to another Strokes song, 'Vision of Division' but I can't remember exactly what.

And I woke up to my roomie's alarm on her phone. Fuck it.

I typed as much as I could in my blackberry so that I'd remember. *sigh. Best dream ever. Period. Julian, Julian, Julian.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Julian again

I would've probably remembered more if I jot down something once I woke up.

We were at this house with polished wooden floors. Looks a helluva lot like Ain's place in Sydney. It was kinda dim inside, the lights were yellow. Lots of doors that are aligned were left opened, so there's like a hallway of sorts but it was really a series of interconnected rooms.

If I'm not mistaken there was a show being hosted there. Ellen perhaps (Strokes are gonna perform on Ellen next Tuesday - 31st May maybe that's why I dreamt this). And Julian Casablancas was the guest. Oddly enough I couldn't see anybody else. Just him. But the atmosphere felt like cheery, like there's loads of people. Happy people.

Julian came and he suddenly went into the sort of dive that footballers do on the grass when they score a goal. Y'know, the skidding kneeling one? Julian did that. Thing is, the floor's really smooth, so he ended up skidding on his knees all the way...out of sight.

He had his shades on. As usual. Wore the outfit he wore in the Boombox MV. All smiles and laughter. Made me warm and fuzzy just thinking about it hahah.

At one point in the dream some random guy was choking me. I remember it was actually me who was looking for him and then it turned bad somehow and he started chasing me and cornered me in the same house and pinned me to the wall, with his big hands closing on my neck. It didn't feel like it hurt, just the sensation of someone clasping their hands onto your neck. He seemed pissed. Said something but I was busy trying not to die I guess.

Then I woke up.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Nick (Fragments)

Nick
Fangirl likes Strokes plays covers of their songs
Song's called 'Serotonin' (No such song)
Girl has a panic attack
Nick reassures her
Girl hugs and suddenly kisses Nick on the lips
Albert, Fab, Nikolai and Julian was there
Everything is actually on a YouTube video I'm watching
I keep replaying the vid
Albert: "OHHH, it's getting physical!" Mouth hangs open, funny face.
Other Strokes members shocked.

_______________

Unfamiliar house
Dark inside, like it's dusk but nobody's turned the light on yet cause the Sun's still out
Strange bedroom
Picture frames on the bedside table, I fiddled with them
Strokes fangirl was in the house too, played the piano like shit
Roomie was there, using her laptop, her boyfriend sent her a drawing
A sketch of a pair of hands, and some writing, "I'm dyslexic"
I got excited
He plays the piano too
I thought, 'We should high-five each other!'
Something happened, disappointed
Looked out of the window
Green yard
Lots of cats
Somebody called my name

___________________
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I woke up to pray for subuh, slept for an hour more

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
__________________

This time, Julian's in it
and that's all I remember

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Strokes

Since I've been terribly busy today. I haven't got time to type down my dream soon enough to remember how it started. Oh well, here goes...

_____________________________________________________________

There was a some sort of festival, a crowd was gathered under large tents set up along the main street that is somewhat similar to one of the streets in Melbourne City. Somehow, I just knew that most of the people there were either JPA scholars or MARA scholars. There were some officers checking attendance and shaking people's hands. The atmosphere of excitement and overall well-being was palpable.

Time goes by and everybody started leaving, night was about to fall. I don't remember much what happened after I spotted the officers, it was afternoon and suddenly it was getting dark. A friend of mine (Mai) greeted me and asked me to come over to her house (which, looks nothing like her actual home). In this dream, she lived in one of the shops along the street. There were boxes stacked along the walls and lots of things on the carpet that I can't really single out. I have a feeling that they were mostly toys belonging to her kid brother.

We were just wading through the sea of boxes, chatting, doing nothing in particular when suddenly I spotted Julian Casablancas of The Strokes (Yeap. FINALLY. Jules in my dreams.) crossing the street. We hurried outside and caught up with him. Fab (Drummer of The Strokes) was with him. So I asked them if we could take a picture with them. A stranger agreed to take our picture so we posed together on a park bench in front of my friend's House/Shop.

I distinctly remember seeing myself, my friend, Julian and Fab all smiling and trying to get the picture taken in the third person. I put my hand on Fab's shoulder and decided that it was too awkward so I put my back hand down again. I have no idea why I remember this bit particularly clearly.  Then, my friend's dad suddenly stormed out of the House/Shop looking pissed as hell. I'm not sure why but I kinda simply got up and took off. Julian and Fab looked positively confused.

Before I knew it, Mai's dad started chasing after me. At this stage, Fear is very much distinct.

I went into a supermarket and went through an 'EXIT' back door which leads to a very very long dingy, poorly lit hallway. The old man's still following me so I quickly went into the bathroom, which was identical to the hallway except that it had toilet stalls. For some reason, my friend's dad didn't follow me in. So I just kinda stood in one of the stalls staring at the toilet bowl. It was kinda yellow, not ickly looking but not sparkly clean either. I thought I ought to just go out and explain to him that I was just trying to take a picture with Julian and Fab, nothing remotely suspicious.

So, I stepped out of the toilet. The old guy still looked angry, I didn't say anything and made my way out of the supermarket. As I headed for the front doors, a random old lady started to put a bra on over her blouse and I thought - 'People these days are crazy.' My friend's dad followed me still. After a while just walking in silence, I had a brilliant idea of trying to distract him from telling me off by talking about cameras. In my dream, I simply knew that my friend's dad had recently bought himself a dSLR but didn't know how to use it. So I explained to him how to use the ISO and aperture dials. My plan was a success. We walked briskly back to the House/Shop as I nervously explained the various functions dSLRs has.

Once we reached the House/Shop, Julian and Fab was still at the bench with my friend. They were waiting for me so that we can still get our picture taken. This time, my friend's dad was gonna help us. Again, we posed happily. Again, we were interrupted. My friend's mom and another woman had lifted the bench and moved it while we were all still sitting on it. They didn't have any difficulty doing it at all, which puzzled me in the dream. Because, it was perfectly impossible! (Maybe if I had realized this more acutely, I'd have become lucid haha).

So we all stood up and stared at the ladies. They were angry with us, what for I have no idea. We were all getting pretty disgruntled. My friend's dad told us to ignore the women and told us to smile and snapped a picture of us together, FINALLY. The camera was a polaroid camera so we had a look at the picture. Julian was gone. There was like a blurry figure where he should've stood because when my friend's dad clicked the shutter button, somebody called Julian's name and he bolted into the House/Shop.

Then I woke up. *sigh*

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Skinless

It all started out pretty normal. A friend of mine, Bie, gave me a birthday gift wrapped in news paper, a Japanese calligraphy set. I distinctly remember that I could guess what was my gift because the news paper wrapping it had an article with two small pictures of the Japanese calligraphy set. I was ecstatic, I kept thanking her.
* * * * *

Then the sky turned stormy grey, like it was about to rain and suddenly I was in my old high school. There was me and a handful of students in the class and my Malay Studies lecturer from college was sitting at the teacher's desk. She asked me to do some tasks for her. I was reluctant at first but I agreed.

* * * * *
A complete blank. Just plain black. 

The next scene I remember is completely unrelated to the first two but what they do have in common is that the sky outside was still very very dark. It was not night though. It merely looked like there was a storm arriving. It gave the impression that I was still dreaming the same day but with gaps between them that I cannot seem to remember.
* * * * *

I was sitting at a wooden table with my family, at a restaurant. Even though it was dark outside, no lights were turned on. We just sat there waiting for our food to arrive. For some reason, it also felt like I was expecting somebody else to arrive. The sense of 'waiting' and 'mild anxiety' coloured my impression of this whole scene. 

Of all my family members at the table, I only remember my Dad. I did not actually talk to my mom or little brother but I knew they were there. Dad looked displeased that he was kept waiting. I kept twiddling with my assorted wrist bands. A particularly pretty looking bracelet jumps to mind. It did not have beads on it, just red jade-like material cut into leave shapes. Cabbage leaves.

The food never came. Everybody decided to leave. The next thing I know is that I was walking towards a park with my parents. We were heading for my Dad's working place, a university. It was still very dark but now the winds had started to pick up. I remember this because the dried leaves in the park were caught in the wind, they looked almost alive. When we neared the steel gates of the park, Dad decided that he had to go to his office, so we split up. There was only me and my mother. 

As soon as mom opened the steel gates, a man slipped behind us. I could see him yet I could not actually see him. He was just all black, like a shadow made solid. He said he only wanted to follow us to the prayer room and only then do I realize that we were on our way there. From his gentle voice, I decided that he was harmless. I did not feel any fear or malice for him, but I did feel a little nervous because I could not see his face.

The park was deserted. We kept walking and the man followed. Eventually, we went into an underground tunnel and the angry sound of stormy winds stopped. The tunnel led to a large public washroom. We were going to perform our ablutions.There were  quite a lot of people there. For some reason there were three Caucasian guys in the washroom too, they were sitting on the toilets and looked like they were being tortured. I also had the odd feeling that not all of us in the washroom were human at all. Some seemed to have animosity bared in the plains of their faces, their eyes a little too dark, their body language giving off a terrifying predatory aura. I struggled to perform my ablutions because men and women were not separated. Also, I was scared witless.

It was there, under the bright fluorescent lights that the true horror of the Shadow man's appearance were revealed. He had no skin. None at all. He was as red as raw meat because that was all he was. He looked exactly like the pictures of the 'Muscular System' and he was dripping blood a little. He also did not have any eyes and a mouth. Where they should be, there were only smooth red muscle. Skinless, he was naked in the truest sense of the word. 

I stared at him until he turned his head and seemed to spot me. He looked away and appeared to be humiliated so I stopped staring and hurried into the prayer room. 

As I was about to pray, there was a knocking coming from the inside of a door (which, incidentally is identical to my maid's room at my house), so I went over and opened the door and peered inside (The room was identical to my maid's room at my house). Standing there was the Shadow man, except he now looked like a whole, normal and healthy person. In fact, he was good looking in a very ordinary kind of way. He was smiling and asked me if he could borrow one of the shirts strewn around the room. I said yes and left.

Even though I left, I could still see the inside of the room. An invisible third party spectator, like in films. Shadow man was having difficulty putting the shirt on when a brisk knocking and an angry shout to 'Hurry up!' pierced the silent and happy scene. It took quite a while for him to finally put the shirt on and when he finally did, he yanked the door open with alarming force.

And that is the end. The last thing I remember about the dream before I woke up is, 'Shadow man is angry.'